St. Mary the Virgin, Wivenhoe
Many people go into a church either to admire its architecture and contents; to listen to a concert; to attend a social function or simply to appreciate its stillness and tranquillity. They feel quite relaxed about this even if they are not regular 'church goers'.
You may feel differently however when thinking about participating in a church service for the first time or after a gap of a number of years. You feel hesitant because you don't know the 'routine'. What should I wear? Where should I sit? Will I know when to stand, sit or kneel? What about the collection. What do I do during communion? Can I bring my children?
This is understandable - we none of us like to feel conspicuous in a strange environment but Relax! Read on as what follows will help to make it much less intimidating and will hopefully give you the confidence to make that first step.
Men take off their hats or baseball caps on entering the church. Women are no longer expected to wear hats or scarves but may keep theirs on if they do. Other than that there really is no dress code.
Please remember also to switch off your mobile telephone!
You'll find service times on the Regular Services Page. Arriving about 5 or 10 minutes before would give you time to get the feel of the place before the service starts.
As you approach the entrance you will probably hear the organ playing and, stepping through the door, you will see two people on the right who will wish you a smiling 'Good Morning' and give you some sheets of paper and hymn books.
Also there, but on the left, you will see another person who is there to welcome everybody.
If you feel you want to, you could say to this person that you're new to the church and ask them where to sit if you're not sure.
Otherwise, just wish them 'good morning' back and carry on to find a seat in any of the pews in the main body of the church.
There are normally no reserved seats in St. Mary's so don't be worried you'll unwittingly tread on anybody's toes in choosing a place to sit.
(If there are seats reserved, for instance for baptism families, these will be clearly indicated by a notice on the seats).
Take a moment or two to look around. You will see that some people are quietly chatting, some people may kneel to pray when they get into the pew, some just sit looking through the pew sheet information.
Feel at ease, you're in God's house and very welcome!
Each Sunday we set aside an area at the front of the church as a children's 'corner'. We have bags with (quiet) toys and books, and colouring sheets and pens, and small tables and chairs, rugs and bean bags and one huge cuddly dog, where children can amuse themselves when their interest wanders.
Obviously, if you brought their own favourite toys along you'd make sure they were of the non-squeaking variety...
We realise that it can be difficult for parents if children start crying or become fractious or restless and want to run around, and it might be an idea to introduce your child to church services by coming to the All Age Worship Service, where this is unlikely to be a problem; that service is meant to be informal enough to cope with a degree of disruption. Children freely move between the play area and their parents' seats, and use the various floor spaces to play with their toys.
The Rector will also involve the children in the service.
The All Age Worship service is on the first Sunday of every month at 10.30. It is slightly shorter than the normal service (usually about 40-45 minutes instead of 60-65 minutes) and its format is definitely child-friendly.
On other Sundays your child might like to join other children when they go from the church to their Sunday Club to have arts and crafts, story telling, prayer and fun under the guidance of trained leaders, before re-joining you and the congregation in church at 11.20, just before the Lord's Prayer.
The Sunday Club is open to all children and we hope you will encourage your child(ren) to try it.
St. Mary's unfortunately does not have a hall that offers an escape route if you feel you need to take your child out. When the weather is good this is still not a problem as you and the child could go out and come in repeatedly quite easily, because the main door would stand open during the service anyway.
Don't feel awkward; many of us remember being in that position and will be sympathetic and try to be helpful.
It may be useful to know that there are toilets at the back of the church, through the door opposite the main entrance.
You will know when the service is about to start because the organ stops playing and the priest will announce the first hymn from where he is standing at the back of the church.
When you came in, you might have noticed a group of robed people gathering at the back of the church. This is the choir, which will now process from the back of the church to the front while the first hymn is sung.
You will be able to follow the service from a service sheet or booklet.
The service sheet will say when to stand, sit or kneel and if you listen out you'll hear that the priest usually gives an indication, too. You could follow what other people do as well, but sometimes different people do different things, which might be confusing - although it just goes to show: you cannot actually go far wrong!
This one can really get people in a tizz!
There you are, you've done fine up to this point and suddenly somebody shoves a velvet pouch into your hand and it takes you by surprise - oh dear, just when you thought you had it cracked ...Don't Worry!! Even dyed-in-the-wool parishioners are sometimes caught out.
The collection happens during the first hymn after the sermon. It is announced by the priest who may say that we will now sing the Offertory hymn. Once the singing has started, the collection will begin from the front of the church so you can see it coming.
If you want to give something, place your gift in the collection bag as it is handed to you and then pass the bag on to the person next to you.
The collection money is used for the up-keep of the church building, its running costs, and for the salary and pensions of clergy.
If the Sunday that you are there happens to be a Communion Service, that part of the service will begin now, after the collection.
Again, you can follow this from the service booklet.
Just before people start going up to the altar to receive communion, the priest will invite any visitors to come too.
If you feel you'd rather not go up, that's fine; just let other people out of the pew and stay put.
On the other hand, you could go up to receive a blessing instead of communion. In that case just join the others from your pew but carry a book and hold it in both your hands as you are kneeling at the altar rail, so the priest can see that you require a blessing.
When the service is over, the choir will process from the front of the church to the back while the final hymn is sung.
At the end of the hymn people sit or kneel for a moment, until the organ begins to play again.
Now people get up, start chatting and leaving.
Coffee, tea and biscuits are served after every morning service. It is free but there is a bowl marked 'coffee fund' if you want to leave a contribution. This is a good time to strike up a conversation but if you prefer to quietly leave, that's fine too.
The priest will be standing at the door and shake people by the hand as they are leaving.
We hope that you found this explanation helpful and look forward to welcoming you one Sunday soon!!
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